Did I really say that?

Do you spend hours, or some amount of time, torturing yourself over what you didn’t say? Or is it just me? This is more about something I have battled most of my life. I have always found that after any conversation and disagreement I cannot stop going over every single sentence, word and how they were meant or could be contrived to mean. I spend countless hours brooding over things like this when I am pretty sure that the other person had comfortably moved on in life. Me, on the other hand, caught in suspended animation having the same discussion over and over again. Always trying to think of a better way to reply or question what was being said.

I often used to think this was only me, but apparently it is not. I am not saying that everyone takes it to the extremes I did but to a certain level I have noticed glimpses of this trait in others. I try my best now not to leave any discussion without having said all I feel compelled to, but I still have this innate need to think things over. I have found that my instincts to say things on the spur of the moment are not the greatest, whereas my wife seems a master at this. But then again her instincts for pretty much everything leave me wondering where I was when this trait was being handed out to people! So although I try not to waste as much time on stewing over a conversation as I used to, I still catch myself occasionally kicking myself for a missed opportunity. But what I come to understand is that is just the way I am. I can accept it and just try and control it, as it can be very destructive, or waste hours of my future reliving conversations rather than focusing on the future. With so many things to look forward to, why should I waste my time looking at something that is in the past?

6 thoughts on “Did I really say that?

  1. ☆☆ HELLO Alan. It’s only me. Hope all is well with you. Just coming by to say ‘Have a most excellent day.’ ☆☆

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    1. & how lucky we are to have you as a friend Seth. Thank you for always bringing smiles to people on your travels, have a great day, Alan.

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  2. ☆☆ I have often wondered what would be worse, to say something and wished that I didn’t or say nothing and wished that I had. Personally, I think we should speak our mind. “Let’s just agree to disagree” comes to mind. And hey… if we end up saying something that we truly wished we hadn’t, then we can always apologize. ☆☆

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    1. I totally agree Seth. My only worry is that I have often carried with me words that people have said years on. Words that cut deep that no apology could remove. But I think 99% of the time we should say how we feel, and you are right you can always apologize! Thanks Seth. take care Alan.

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  3. I know what you mean, Alan, I heard a story once where a father was trying to tell his son how words can never be taken back…he likened it to if he hammered a nail in a fence and then pulled it out…the hole would still remain. Sometimes words that really cut can leave a scar. We can forgive the person but that doesn’t make us forget those words. 😦 Fav pix: 3rd in 3rd row. 🙂

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  4. No holding back on words that heal. Think twice on words that could break — not only to the recipient but to the bearer. There are times that I had to ask my hubby, “Is it more more important that you are right and I am wrong and hurting?” You bet, it’s hard to get over hurtful words no matter how many good words were made to cover it up. And so saying that, I love the middle pic on the 2nd row — peace for our hearts’ sake.
    🙂

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